she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize