Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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