I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
