Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
