what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You've changed since you got that strap on
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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