ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
