Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
