All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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