I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i believe in u and ur pee
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
