I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
