The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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