This girl is more easily done than said...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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