I intend to get homeless drunk
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
