Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
