I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
