kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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