i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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