I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize