Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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