I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
