were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
