it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
