in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
