nut hugger
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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