I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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