Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
