5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
