Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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