yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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