Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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