Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
