Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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