I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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