i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
