So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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