Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize