escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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