Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
