you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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