I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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