I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
wow bdsm is so cute
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
