pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
