it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You are a genius and a whore.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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