He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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