no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
