Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
