If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
