The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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