Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
