I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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