Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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