He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
