Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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