he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize