youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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