I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
